The daily chronicle of my family as we embark on our quest to relocate from New York to Cairo... the impending journey to get there and the daily lives of myself, my husband and our four children... and other random thoughts while living in Cairo!

Looking to make contact with other Muslimahs who are like myself with small children living or will be living in a foreign country.

I invite you to share the experience with us as we try to make this happen!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Thinking about my daughter's wedding......?????











I dunno what's with me lately but as I watch my little Hijabi Princess run around, screaming and making all sorts of weird noises with Big Papi, my mind starts to drift off thinking about when it'll be her turn to get married, InshaAllah. I start to think about the many things involved: wedding location, the massive families to coordinate that are scattered all over the world, bridal clothing, cake, amount of gold jewerly bought for her and the list goes on. Now, I'm not psycho since my Mami is only 4 going on 5 but since she's my only girl who will be the eldest with three siblings, I wonder how her Baba and I will handle it all when the day comes?

I dream about the type of wedding I would LIKE which will not necessarily be of her taste... to which I'll probably get upset but she's kinda like me when it comes to stuff- I dunno if it'll last but if so, we might be okay with planning! ;) Her Baba will have his own set of ideas for sure... I think it'll be interesting!

I watch her run around, care free and laughing while I sit and think about her education and future... what will she do? What will she like? How might she change in the years to come? I don't know if other Mothers dream of their daughter's wedding but I have been thinking about it alot and I don't know why! She's just a baby and she will not be getting married any time soon but I guess maybe because I know she's my only girl? And I told her Baba start saving that money NOW for the event... and you know Pakistani families usually don't do small weddings and since she's definitely "the Princess", it won't be something taken lightly!

I've thought of fancy cakes.... you know, the kind that don't even LOOK like cakes (like the one above that look like pillows... definitely, my style)? The amount of family and friends from all the world- my family is huge and my hubby's family is massive so it would be a spectacle to see (hence the reason to start saving NOW... lol). Her wedding will more than likely be nothing like mine: very small, right after Friday kuttbah with an average sized walimah the next day...

Anyhoo, just thinking aloud... we have many, many, many years ahead of us to think about the event, InshaAllah- I guess I'm just being a Mommy right now... watching my little Hijabi Princess grow up before my eyes..... sigh.

Now, all we need is the right boy: practising, religious and from a good family...hmmm......

24 comments:

Lisa said...

I was watching Platinum Weddings last night, and saw the most beautifully insane $600,000 affair.

I am so glad you are starting early. My sister had a huge $30,000 wedding and my parents had no money left for mine. so I eloped. Starting and most of all saving is so critical, and I am doing the same for my little guy, but more for college...

I loved the ideas you chose dear. Mashallah she will be so pretty. I can picture her changing 4 times, such beautiful choices, great jewelry....

Mona said...

I have 3 girls alhamdulillah ages 4,7 and 9 and I haven't given this one thought. What's wrong with me?
I think I just can't imagine them all grown up.

Umm Omar said...

Masha'Allah. May Allah give her a righteous life and grant you all a beautiful wedding for her.

And, oh, I wish I could think about that! If only I would stop worrying, maybe I could look forward to this stuff!

Empress Anisa said...

Lisa- yeah, all the clothing changes, people and food are the main things swirling around in the head! InshaAllah, I hope we live to see the day when she does become a bride... and may Allah (SWT) grant her a pious, loving, supportive, smart husband, InshaAllah... (and good looking wouldn't hurt either). College education(s) and her wedding is cramming my brain lately- me, the definite crazy planner is always looking very far ahead (can't help it- this is me) but we have to make preparations as parents, ya know? The time WILL come so no harm is starting early!

Mona- Yeah, can't imagine them all grown up, I know... and you have three to marry off! Me, I'd be kinda nervous- that means THREE good families to find! Not unless, InshaAllah, you find one with three good boys! And MashaAllah, that WOULD be a huge blessing!

Umm Omar- InshaAllah... Ameen! Yeah, I've been looking at the three of them lately thinking about what is to come, InshaAllah... and with her being the eldest and the first one "out the gate" with everything I'm excited, nervous and anxious about everything! We're working on proper manners now and I'm trying to groom her to be a proper Muslimah- some have told me I'm too hard on her but you can't start something and not be consistant... it's all in her best interest in the end... I love them all dearly and want them to grow to be the best people possible, InshaAllah.... make dua for them! And make dua for me and my psychosis!!!! :-)

noorsjourney said...

Assalamu aleikum,

May Allah grant you the risq to give her a beautiful wedding, insha-Allah! :)

Anonymous said...

She is 4 and a hijabi? Too young and restricting for a child her age.

Empress Anisa said...

Noor- Wa alaikum assalaam! And to your dua, InshaAllah... Ameen! We all want the best for our little princesses... I hope Allah (SWT) spares my life to see this day come to past....

Anon- YES, she is 4 and we tr to practice her with wearing her hijab on a constant basis. You can't let your daughter(s) run around with their heads uncovered until their 12,13 or 14 and then ask them to cover up willingly. Just like anything else, it's a learned behavior so it's best to start them out young- and it's most certainly not restricting... why does anyone out on the street NEED to see her hair anyway??? It's not worn to please or displease others but a part of praticing our faith correctly- thanks for stopping by!

queen said...

salam sis, hope that you and all is well. ive thought about my daughters wedding, not what im gonna do for it, but how it will break my heart to let her go..... that is too sad to contemplate...but it is a part of life that i will have to accept.

Empress Anisa said...

Queen- I know the feeling about breaking the heart but it's exciting as well! Hopefully, we're successful in raising them to be pious, well-mannered, beautiful Muslimahs, InshaAllah (Ameen!!!). Love ya!!!

desertmonsoon said...

I spent a lot of time dreaming about my wedding when I was little, but my actual wedding wasn't much of a dream and I only have boys so....

speaking of which, did you say you were looking for a nice boy...How old is she again? I have two :P

Empress Anisa said...

Desert- I never really thought about mine, funny enough... and as I got older, I felt I would NEVER marry- too much headache! As the saying goes, never say never... lol

Most definitely would like to know families in the "early" who have good boys.... to see where they come from and see how they grow- it's important and helps in the long run, I feel. My Princess is currently 4- she'll be 5 in the fall. And MashaAllah, your boys are handsome!!!

Hajar said...

"and as I got older, I felt I would NEVER marry- too much headache! As the saying goes, never say never... lol"

That's like a direct hit to me! LoL~ Well, I don't have kids but I love those cushiony-pillowlike cakes~!!! Your little Hijabi Princess's wedding is bound to be one spectacular occasion. :)

Empress Anisa said...

Hajar- yeah, I didn't "do the deed" until I was in my early 30's... and at that point, I no absolutely NO interest in becoming someone's wife! But I accepted Islam, and people kept telling me this was the obvious "next step"- good thing the hubby asked me out of the blue! Almost exactly 2 months after my "reversion", I was married... gee, maybe he was waiting (and praying) that I might accept Islam??? He was on his way back to living in Dubai... oh, this is a whole other story.... :)

Your day WILL come- and I notice the more we protest, the more likely it will happen! Yeah, I'm lovin' those pillow cakes... okay, you got the 1st invite!!! :-)

Hajar said...

Ohooo~!!! Thanks for the uber early invitation! ^^

Yeah ... I guess he was. :) Great that things work out REALLY AWESOME for the both of you! *and with the little ones and may it remain AWESOME forever!* Owh man, you're just never short of stories are you? Dang, you're one heck of an interesting sister!

I'm years till I reach 30 but somewhere in my mind, it's telling me ... marriage? what's that again? tsk tsk ... that word ain't exist in my dictionary ... LoL~ Okay, IF my day comes ... you'll get the 1st invite! :P

Empress Anisa said...

Hajar- I can honestly say, the life I have lead as been a very full, enjoyable and exciting one, Alhumdulillah... I COULD write a book, I dunno if it would be a best seller... but it would up there on the New Times list! :)

My life story would take a long time to tell as I've seen many, many things, done LOTS of things, encountered too many to think about: the good, the bad and the indifferent and been enough places that my old saying is when I talk to people: if I ever have to live the reminder of my life locked up inside a house, I could say I didn't miss doing any thing in my lifetime.. seriously. How many people can say that???

Years til you reach 30? Well, that's good- yo have some time to expand and breathe... don't wait too long though- I think you might wanna have your family (kids) while you're young enough to really enjoy them- almost all my friends kids are high school seniors or in their 1st year in college.... here I am with my eldest being 4 with one on the way, MashaAllah!!! Everything in it's own time, Alhumdulillah!

Empress Anisa said...

Hajar- oh yes... you're more than welcome on the uber early invite and I would be most graciously honored to attend your future gala!

The Gori Wife said...

I LOVE that necklace!

I too was thinking about my son's marriage recently - he's only 2 - and I realized I'm going to be one of THOSE mothers who thinks no one is good enough for her baby!

Empress Anisa said...

Gori Wife- yup... I think we both have the same problem going on! :) Will he be good to her? Protect her enough? Love her enough? Respect her enough? Provide for her enough??? All these things which I have no control over running thru the mind... makin me crazy- sometimes I feel like she can just stay at home with me... but reality sets in and I know I'll have to let her go someday... no time soon though.... thank Allah..... ;)

Habayeb said...

Oh lol i just read this post..and aww how cute..yeah my mum sometimes passes comments when she sees marriage scenes on TV like "Bas, even u shud get a good guy now and get married soon" (eng translation)

Im like "no way! not in a few years atleast! im still a baby!"

lol and when i somtimes think of the time when my kids will be ready I wonder how hard it is to actually go meet the guy's/gal's parents and go forward will all the stuff ya know..esp with a son..since its usually the mum who goes and looks for a gal and all. Yikes, all so scary.

I try not to think abt it all so much lol coz it all freaks me out (being the age that i am) ..sooo lemme just say im happy being the baby of the house and enjoying my singlehood to the fullest! Alhamdulilah.

Empress Anisa said...

Habayeb: I know it gets scary... I'm frantic just comtemplating the day when the conversation will come up "It's time.... " she's my only Princess!!! But, InshaAllah, it should be exciting- I'm a mixed bag of emotions when it comes to this subject for all of them but more so for her.... thank Allah, I have sooooo many years before this has to become a reality for any of them!!! ;)

Empress Anisa said...

lol.... *contemplating...... me and my typos.....

Anonymous said...

"You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might also pray in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance."

- Khalil Gibran
well said
liked it
make dua for me, thanks.
rubber

Ummezaynub said...

I have two princesses 9 and 7 and I love bling but then fear Allah when it comes to israaf! But we can plan and use our wildest imagination and the day of have a simple nikah at the masjid:D
I love planning weddings!! Right now I'm helping my sis in law plan her wedding.
Like the way you incorporated you husband 'desi' roots and the the cake is so NYC. It will make a great Pakistani American wedding. May Allah grant all our children pious partners- Ameen

Empress Anisa said...

Rubber: Hope all si well......

Ummezaynub: We still have a ways to go, so how it will unfolds, nobody knows! InshaAllah, I pray Allah (SWT) spares my life to see that day come forth- InshaAllh, Ameen for Allah's Mercy on pious partners for our offspring! And thanks for checking in!