Lately, I've basically been having the same conversation with people in regards to personalities and our expectations. When I was younger, I used to "dismiss" people who couldn't "rise to the occasion" or "make things happen" from their will to achieve or they "let go" of their dream or end goal because they suddenly felt weak or felt they "just couldn't do it" . I believed that, it was totally, another sign of weakness like laziness. Self-doubt and pity are our worse enemies! I totally STILL believe that...
Needless to say, those who know me, know I have a very strong personality- not one to succumb to situations but I search out alternative options (which I usually have already put in place) and look to meet those goals or tasks. I've always lived my life around Plan A, B and C. Of course, Plan "A" is the ultimate goal and the direct route to achieve it... Plan "B" is the same outcome but a different course taken to achieve the same end result... and Plan "C" is the option when all else fails- I don't know how to live my life without this scenario. Some may see it as sick or too rigid but you know what, all my life it has worked for me. I know I do possess an "Alpha" personality, and to understand WHICH type of Alpha I am (for those who know what I'm talking about) I need to tell you that I'm about 30% Alpha 5 and 70% Alpha 7- this is who I am. I've tried to deviate from this in the past but I couldn't... I can't... this is me.
I have learned over the course of my life NOT to dismiss people but try to help them achieve their goals with my, should I say, "steps to success". I tell people that for one, I'm not a crier- on rare occasion when the struggles of life REALLY get to me and it seems like the whole world is about to cave in, I break into tears. When this happens, I lay down and give myself the ultimate pep-talk, "You're not weak... crying is for others, not you", "you're better than this situation", "get over yourself", "rise above it OR lay down and succumb to your failure", "find a way to make it happen", "self pity is a sign of weakness", "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO???". Usually at this point, I cease crying, wash my face, I sometimes pray and then I relax. I clear my head and tell myself, "What's the next course of action?". I then assess the situation at hand and revise my immediate goals and the put in place the new outline of Plan A, B and C.
Over the years, my husband and I have to come to crossroads where he has said on numerous occassions that he doesn't understand me or my mode of thinking... but with knowning how I am and my personality, I have come to realize that you can not explain your attempt or end result to him as he sees it as thinking too far ahead or sometimes too abstract... but I think most can agree that men tend to see with "tunnel vision" or like I sometimes like to say, "they can only see to the tip of their nose" while most women tend to look at the broader picture and keep the end goal in mind. There have been times when situations have taken days, weeks and even a few months before the end goal was achieved... and he would say things to me like I'm not working on getting something in order or making any effort to get things cleared up (not realizing that things have been working in the background) and then when it all comes together, the hubby would just look at me and I at him and say, "Exactly...."- enough said!
As our lives evolve, so do our plans and/or goals so we are ever modifying, changing or tweeking our outline in order to achieve our desired end results... it's to pray to Allah and seek his guidance... and USE the brain Allah (SWT) gave you- that's why we all have one (well, most of us anyways). ;)
We must learn to rise above the petty everyday sorrows and the misery it usually brings in order to get through this world... you have to learn to pick yourself up and dust off the issue(s) at hand and work towards making the situation favorable if not totally better. If you don't know who you are and what you want out of life, and don't have a general idea as to how to achieve your goal(s), you could easily be swallowed up by this mean, unforgiving, disgusting world and forever lost in the dark abyss of doubt and self pity. That's definitely NOT an option for me... is that an option for you???
What are some of your common practices to "making it happen"? Though my method of madness may seem extreme to some, your reply concerning your method might help someone who doesn't know how to achieve their end goal(s)...
Posts
